Why do spiders enjoy computers so much?
They like to play on the web.
***
Why was the restaurant owner having a tough time getting his website running?
Because he didn’t have a good server.
***
Why did the computer screen get in trouble with his mother?
Because he was a cursor.
***
How do flowers stay in touch on the internet?
With their bud-dy lists.
***
Computers enjoy what popular snack?
Chips and dip.
***
How do you keep a computer’s breath fresh?
Give it a docu-mint.
***
What music do computers like to dance to?
Disc-o.
***
Why did the computer call the exterminator?
It had a mouse.
***
What kind of shirt does a computer wear to school?
A lap-top.
***
Why did one font dump the other font?
He wasn’t her type.
***
Why was the computer wearing a muzzle?
So it wouldn’t byte.
***
Was the computer’s road trip to California fun?
Yes, but it was a hard drive.
***
What do you call it when you love your music collection?
A CD Rom-ance.
***
What is the new way to cure a sick computer?
Treat it with modem medicine.
***
How do computers get placed in honors classes?
They go through a screen-ing process.
***
Where do DVD players like to vacation?
In remote islands.
***
How do you borrow a camera?
Someone lens it to you.
***
Which stereos give the finest lectures?
The ones with the best speakers!
***
Why did the old-fashioned camera find the digital camera so annoying?
Because she was always talking and he couldn’t shutter up!
***
Which television shows are the cleanest?
Soaps.
***
Where did the camera take his date?
To a film.
***
Why aren’t photographers fun to have around?
Because of their negative attitudes.
***
What do phone stores do?
They cell phones, duh!
***
What do phones exchange when they get married?
Rings.
***
How do prisoners stay in touch with each other?
With their cell phones.
***
How do amoebas stay in touch with each other?
With their cell phones.
***
How do you get off the phone with a closet?
You hang up.
***
What happened at the football game between the cell phones and the cordless phones?
The ref made a bad call.
***
Why do surgeons get so many phone calls?
Because they’re big operators.
***
What do you send a telephone when it’s one year old?
A birthday cord.
***
How do you get a book to come to the telephone?
You page it.
***
Where do most telephones live?
In Connect-icut.
***
What’s the best way to get in touch with your mother?
Ring-er.
***
What’s a good name for an ATM machine?
Rich.
***
Why do you need an ATM machine to make pizza?
That’s where you get the dough, silly!
***
How do fingers communicate on a computer?
By e-nail.
***
How did the police officer stop the runaway refrigerator?
She yelled, “Freeze!”
