How did the cold spread?
It flu.
***
Where do you catch colds?
On a choo-choo train.
***
Why doesn’t the chin like the nose?
The chin thinks the nose is stuffy.
***
Why did the ship sneeze?
It had a mast-y cold.
***
Why did the cow stay home with a cold?
She was milking it for all it was worth.
***
Why did the computer stay home from school?
It had a virus.
***
How can you tell your neck is angry?
You’ve got a sore throat.
***
What kind of shots do sick hunters fire when they go hunting?
Flu shots.
***
What part of your body can finish a marathon?
Your runny nose.
***
How come the man is always burping?
He works at a gas station.
***
What allergy makes horses sneeze?
Hay fever.
***
BUNNY: Hey, doc, how bad is it?
DOCTOR: Well, you’ve got a hare-line fracture.
***
Why couldn’t the foot afford to buy a new shoe?
Because it was broke.
***
How did the doctor tell her patient he broke his foot?
She braced him for the bad news.
***
What injury do bullfighters get?
Spain-ed ankles.
***
Why did the leaf go to the hospital?
It had a bad fall.
***
What do dogs fear most at the vet?
Getting a cat-scan.
***
What disease do old roofs get?
Shingles.
***
What’s a good name for an eye doctor?
Iris.
