What energy snacks do chimps like?
Monkey bars.
***
Why are baby goats fun to play with?
They’re always kidding around.
***
Why are fish easy to fool?
Because they’re so gill-able.
***
Which sea creatures work out at the gym?
Mussels.
***
What kind of sweaters do tortoises wear?
Turtle-necks
***
How can you tell a whale is sad?
By its blubber-ing.
***
Why did the escargot visit the manicure salon?
She needed to get her snails done.
***
What’s a good name for an oyster?
Pearl.
***
What do fishermen do at a classical music concert?
Tuna piano.
***
What did the sea lion do before mailing his letter?
Seal the envelope.
***
How do bulls drive their cars?
With steer-ing wheels.
***
Where do pigs sleep in the summertime?
In ham-mocks.
***
What prehistoric animals eat in coffee shops?
Diner-saurs.
***
How did the crocodile get to the top of the building?
He took the ele-gator.
***
What’s a good name for a grizzly bear?
Teddy.
***
What’s a good name for a duck?
Bill.
***
What bird wears a toupee?
A bald eagle.
***
Why is it so hard to move a parakeet?
Because they don’t budge-y for anyone.
***
What bird lives in your throat?
A swallow.
***
Why didn’t the duck like to go out to dinner?
It always got stuck with the bill.
***
How do felines carry their money?
In cat nap sacks.
***
What’s a scientist’s favorite dog?
The Lab.
***
What dog is the best swimmer?
A lap dog.
***
What do you give a dog to make him laugh?
A funny bone.
***
What insect is a good letter writer?
A spelling bee.
***
What is a matador’s favorite dog?
The bulldog.
***
Why didn’t the dog get caught stealing the bone?
Because he flea-ed the scene before the cops showed up.
***
What do DVD players and dogs have in common?
They both have pause.
***
What animal makes the best butler?
A go-pher.
***
What police unit do flies fear most?
The SWAT team.
***
Where did the horse go for dinner?
To his nay-bor’s house.
***
How do horses wear their hair in the summer?
In pony tails.
***
What did the dog do when he couldn’t afford to buy a new car?
He leash-ed one.
