Film photographers do it in a darkroom because they are fascinated by seeing what develops.
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Artists, relying on imagery from within, draw upon their inner resources for their artwork.
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In the world of art, sculptors have to carve out their niche.
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Sculptors don’t need drugs to get stoned.
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Not all sculptors have chiseled features.
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Blacksmiths are very creative artisans working with hammer, metals, and anvil, sometimes they have trouble ironing out specific problems.
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Photographers working with lingerie models often have filmsy excuses for why they do it.
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You don’t want to tick off a professional photographer because he is likely to just snap.
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One occupational hazard of blacksmithing is the pounding headaches.
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When the sign painter’s girlfriend left him for another guy, he was at a loss for words.
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If you’re a rock star, it’s probably not a good idea to live in a glass house.
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Jazz musicians do it after a long night of creating music and call it jamming.
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Trumpet players do it, but they don’t always get the fingering right.
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The young artist submitted an art piece in the local art contest and won first prize. He considered it the luck of the draw.
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The old music buff preferred to buy vinyl records because he felt they were groovy.
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The calligraphy master was in high demand for demonstrations because he was a character himself.
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The ballerina’s daughter started studying American Sign Language and with her lithe and graceful motions, she learned to sign her name in cursive.
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Photographers working on lingerie photo shoots spend extra effort in focusing on the subject at hand.
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Q: When the swine artist took up painting, what medium did she choose?
A: Pigment.
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Sculptors who were trained by their fathers are usually chips off the old block.
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In folk dancing, you have a line dance, a square dance, and a circle dance. Is there a triangle dance, and does it mess up couple’s relationships?
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An avant-garde New York gallery has a binary art show that has been displayed off and on for a while now.
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The company that invented “Paint-by-Numbers” experimented briefly with “Binary Paint-by-Numbers,” but its success was hit-and-miss.
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A shy introverted artist living in a glass house would likely draw the curtains.
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I can see avid photographers living in glass houses. Their whole work centers around exposure.
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The artist in the glass house solved the privacy problem simply by drawing the blinds.
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If you’ve ever wondered what classical music you are likely to hear in a cobbler’s shop, it would be Shoebert.
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Music historians will tell you that the genre with the most up and down history is elevator music.
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There’s a new book out for artists who perform with marionettes: Pulling Strings for Dummies.
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An artist’s tools are brushes and putty knives, chisels and sanding stones, or cameras and lenses. A writer’s tools are his words. That says a lot.
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When the silent screen actor retired, there was little fanfare because he was someone you’d never heard of.
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After the ventriloquist’s dummy delivered the commencement address at the ventriloquist’s alma mater, the ventriloquist complimented him and said, “I couldn’t have said it any better.”
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The Hen-House Players were so good, they knew their fowl play was headed for Broadway.
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The opera singer was often compared to large church organs because they both have a great set of pipes.
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The Wizard of Oz wasn’t pleased about the final curtain call.
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The Wicked Witch of the East didn’t appreciate how her escrow closed.
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Standup comedians tend to shy away from using puns in their routines because a lot of people can’t stand them and won’t sit still for them.
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Puns are an acquired taste. They build character, if you can survive the punishment.
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The standup comedian felt under a huge pressure to produce because the judge placed him under a gag order.
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Four marionette musicians got together and formed a string quartet.
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The sculptor received a commission for a large statue in marble and when the huge block arrived, he began chipping away at it a little bit at a time.
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Chickens attending the opera found the performance eggsillerating.
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The chicken sculptor said the statue eggsemplified truth, beauty, and the American way.
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When the chicken symphony conductor was late for practice, her eggcuse was that her cluck was broken.
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A mime is always quite comfortable in the library.
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The mime’s son decided to follow in his father’s hand moves.
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In their arguments, the mime’s wife always had the last hand.
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He decided that he wanted to become a mime when he grew up because as a child he was taught he should be seen and not heard.
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The symphony board hired a new leader for the symphony who stood only 4 feet tall and introduced him as their semi-conductor.
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The veteran chicken actor knew it was more dramatic to eggsit the scene stage left.
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When the ventriloquist lost his voice, his partner was at a loss for words too.
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Young people find it curious that in their parents’ youth, books and information resources in libraries were accessed by the use of a card catalog. What they don’t realize is that these were the original digital files.
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Comedians who perform at vineyards are looking for a barrel of laughs.
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The comedian made jokes at his own expense. He made up for it by claiming it on his expense account.
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Some comedians rely on materials from all sources, but choose to stay away from cursing and profanity. It’s a principle they swear by.
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The comedian in a wheelchair laments that it’s been difficult being a standup comedian.
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While it has been tough for the comedian in a wheelchair, he tries to roll with the punch lines.
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There’s a new book out for ventriloquists: Thought Projection for Dummies.
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Volume II in a series for ventriloquists: Diction for Dummies.
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Volume III in a series for ventriloquists: Pronouncing Difficult Words for Dummies.
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Volume IV in a series for ventriloquists: Speaking Your Mind for Dummies.
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Volume V in a series for ventriloquists: Projecting Your Voice for Dummies.
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Volume VI in a series for ventriloquists: Vocabularies for Dummies.
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Volume VII in a series for ventriloquists: Ventriloquism for Dummies.
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The marionette’s cardiologist warned him to change his lifestyle because he was too high-strung.
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The ventriloquist was deep in salary negotiations with the director of the film because he said he had two speaking parts.
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Assessing participation at a ventriloquist’s convention isn’t easy because there are always twice as many attendees than people who registered.
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The marionette violated work-related rules and was suspended for his infraction.
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Marionettes are notoriously gullible. It’s so easy to string them along.
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Sometimes puppets get a bad rap for being lazy, but in reality, they’re highly dedicated and always on hand.
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The lion went to the audition because he thought he was perfect for the mane part.
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Puppets are generally great at children’s parties, but they sometimes can be a handful.
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When marionettes party, it’s all too easy for them to hang one on.
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Broadway directors do it behind the curtains and it’s called staging.
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When the ventriloquist was given a primetime TV show, it was considered a two-part series.
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The judgment against the ventriloquist said that it isn’t protected speech just because his dummy said it.
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A ventriloquist rarely has to struggle to get a word in edgewise while working with his dummy.
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Professional folk dancers go around in the best of circles.
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The avant-garde designer of a new line of clothing got into deep trouble because he was all for transparency.
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The distinguished clothing designer went to a high-end bar and had a belt or two. His friend also tied one on.
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The rabbit weaver is an artist and does his best work on his hareloom.
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Hummingbirds are just obnoxious after they’ve seen a stage musical.
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Hummingbirds always seem to remember the score, but the lyrics tend to elude them.
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Claude Monet was confident in his innovative approach to painting and gave the impression that he knew exactly what he was doing.
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As a sculptor, Michelangelo rocked the art world of his day.
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Michelangelo’s David is one of the marbles of the Italian Renaissance period.
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Michelangelo’s father was an artist in his own right, which made little Michelangelo a chip off the old block.
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Impressionism emerged during the late 19th century as a new art form and traditionalists couldn’t brush off its influence.
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The village blacksmith celebrated his 25th wedding anniversary with his wife, but he overdid it and got really hammered. She nailed him for it.
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Art critics felt impressionist painters somehow gave the wrong impression.
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Claude Monet was a true artist in love with his art. He did it for the love of it and not for the Monet.
