What is the most dangerous instrument to play?
The Bermuda Triangle.
***
Why was the piano locked out of its house?
It lost its keys.
***
What musical instruments are donated to hospitals?
Organs.
***
Why do musicians do so well in class?
Because they take lots of notes.
***
What’s a drummer’s favorite part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
***
Did the drum win the contest?
No, it got beat.
***
What physical trait improves your violin playing?
A clef chin.
***
How did the violin get into the orchestra?
It pulled some strings.
***
Why was the big violin annoyed with the little violin?
Because it was always fiddle-ing around.
***
Can you clean your teeth with a musical instrument?
Yes, use a tuba toothpaste.
***
What instrument boils hot water when you play it?
The kettle drum.
***
What vegetable plays the drums in a rock band?
The beet.
***
What seafood dish do saxophone players eat?
Blow-fish.
***
How did the trumpet do when he auditioned for the orchestra?
He blew it.
***
Why didn’t Billy toss his kid sister in the air?
He didn’t want to harm-Monica.
***
Why was the cello so upset?
It was only making a bass salary.
***
Which pants make beautiful music?
Bell bottoms.
***
What instrument do dogs play?
The trom-bone.
***
What instrument is ideal for shopping at the mall?
Bag-pipes.
***
What did the piccolo’s mother tell her child?
“Don’t piccolo your nose!”
