What is the key to becoming a successful doctor?
A lot of patients.
***
What’s a good name for a mugger?
Rob.
***
What kind of dentist works in the military?
A drill sergeant.
***
What metal do robbers use to break into houses?
Steal.
***
What’s a paramedic’s favorite plant?
IV.
***
What’s a good name for a cook?
Stu.
***
What’s a good name for a lawyer?
Sue.
***
How did the lobster become a lawyer?
It went to claw school.
***
Why did the jury laugh at the lawyer?
He was showing them his briefs.
***
What does a lawyer wear to court?
A law suit.
***
What game do banks play?
Check-ers.
***
What’s a good name for a waiter?
Trey.
***
Why did the waitress quit her job?
She didn’t like taking orders.
***
Why do bank robbers get away from it all?
In a get-away car.
***
Why did the janitor get fired?
He got caught sweeping on the job.
***
Why was the garbage man crying?
Because he got canned.
***
What’s a good name for a karaoke singer?
Mike.
***
What makes someone an excellent baker?
They cater to your every knead.
***
Who rescued the drowning pumpkin?
The life-gourd.
***
How do sailors send packages to their families?
They ship them.
***
What do politicians spread on their ham sandwiches?
Mayor-naise.
***
How does a mailman stop a fire?
He stamps it out.
***
Why did the waitress call her stockbroker?
She was looking for a good tip.
***
MANAGER: How are sales for that new perfume?
SALESWOMAN: Scent-sational!
***
How do ladders help your career?
They give you a step up.
