Dad Jokes: Getting Around

What’s a good name for a beach?
Sandy.

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What’s a good name for a church?
Abby.

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What’s a good name for a museum?
Art.

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What’s a good name for a place you exercise?
Jim.

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Why did the Volkswagen go to the hospital?
It had a bug.

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What is the best thing to wear to a coffee bar?
A tea-shirt.

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Why do reporters like to go to ice cream parlors?
Because that’s where they get their scoops.

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Why are bank tellers boring at parties?
They act very withdrawn.

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What gender are many employees at the Post Office?
Mail.

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Why are supermarkets a good place to meet dates?
You can always check out the possibilities.

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Why are manicure salons so neat?
Because they have a good filing system.

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How do you catch a street?
You corner it.

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What do you call a London policeman?
Bobby.

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What is the cleanest city in England?
Bath.

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What do tired, sleepy New Yorkers knit with?
Yawn.

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How do pieces of bread in Paris celebrate?
They make a French toast.

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Where is the best place to celebrate Thanksgiving?
Turkey.

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Where is the best place to buy fancy plates?
China.

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What’s the most popular holiday in Egypt?
Mummy’s Day.

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In what country do you always need a sweater?
Chile.

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What flavor yogurt grows in the midwestern United States?
Plain.

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Where do sharks go on vacation?
Finland.

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What do Hawaiian cows wear to go out dancing?
Moo moos.

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What people walk very fast?
Russians.

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Where do giant sea creatures live?
In Wales.

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What’s a good name for a German motorcyclist?
Helmut.

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What’s a good name for a highway?
Miles.

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What’s the most important meal of the day for a car?
Brake-fast.

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Why did the car pull over to the side of the road?
It was tire-d.

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Are cars fascinating?
Yes, they’re wheely, wheely interesting.

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What boat is always sorry for itself?
A woe-boat.

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How does the Abominable
Snowman commute?
On an ice-cycle.

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Did the bicycle really win the debate?
Nope, it spoke too soon.

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What scooter is always depressed?
A mope-ed.

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Why do passengers like shopping on their ship?
Because everything is on sail.

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Is it expensive to take a taxi to the airport?
No, the rates are usually fare.

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Why did the train get fired on its first day of work?
It got off on the wrong track.